Month: October 2022

While I’ve probably had many experiences with saying “yes” to things I was not prepared for, there is one experience that stands out to me. I guess that’s because to this day I’m still bothered by it. Before I graduated high school in 2021, I was looking at colleges and I was accepted to two art schools that I had dreamed of attending. However, I found out I was not ready. It was not that my art was lacking, or that the work was beyond my abilities. It was that I was not mentally ready. I went straight into college with severe mental health issues which I did not get help for. I did not want to reach out to anyone, not even a close friend. The truth is that I was ashamed. I eventually started talking to a counselor on campus, but it was too late. I was drowning in school work and mental health issues. I only attended for one semester. I had to withdraw because I am convinced that I would have met a grim end if I had stayed there. While I still learned things and my art has improved significantly, leaving still made me feel like a failure even though it was for my own good. Because I know that success was in reach. I always tell myself that maybe if I had reached out sooner, if I had done more to improve my mental health, if I had tried a little harder, then maybe my dreams wouldn’t have slipped through my fingers. I was given a large scholarship upon being accepted which I felt that I had wasted. In fact, I had wasted the majority of my experience since all I did was lie down in my dorm room and decay for hours. I was not the best version of myself, and so I did not bring my best work to my classes. I ended up taking a gap year after I withdrew from the school to improve myself. I did end up improving myself, considering I’m alive and giving college another try. I still have not given up on art school completely, I just think there are useful things that I can learn from the graphic design program, even if my desired career path is not designing logos and Icons. Graphic design can still get me a step closer to getting my foot in the door to the career I plan to pursue. While I plan to complete the program, I also still plan to pursue art school again and do things right. My art school has still given me the opportunity to come back (with certain requirements of course, since my grades were literal garbage when I left). I plan to come back stronger, and not to let my mental health consume me as it often does. I was not ready for the challenge at the time, but that doesn’t mean I’ll never be ready. The bridges are not burned, and the doors are not closed for good yet.

To be completely honest, I had a bit of trouble understanding the topic for this weeks blog, but I will answer to the best of my ability. I plan to go into the animation and videogame industry. While all of my steps towards this goal have been fine arts related, I also understand that graphic design is used in the videogame industry (hints why I’m in the graphic design program, anything that gets me a step closer to getting my foot in the door helps). So I guess on the spectrum that we learned about last week, I’m planning to work in the high information density area as well as broad audience. I think a positive aspect of where I aspire to work is the fact that there is a lot of use for my creative ability. The videogame industry has so many layers, meaning there are many places I could apply my creative abilities. I eventually want to release my own story games, but being a traditional artist with not nearly enough knowledge on digital art, I’m aware that it would be unrealistic to expect to achieve that goal at a quick pace. I still have a lot to learn before I can get to that level. I think one of the aspects that makes this area of work more difficult is the broad audience. Gaming in general has a large audience. There’s no way to please every single one of them, and there’s no doubt that people will always complain about something when it comes to gaming. I’m more concerned about being able to make something that capture’s the attention of the audience and makes them curious, whether I’m the one making the game, or simply have a role in making the game such as drawing concept art. I imagine creating a game to be a huge collaboration project where creators with different skills come together. If the game isn’t captivating enough to reach at least a small audience, it is not just one person’s loss. Everyone’s hard work goes unnoticed, and I’m sure it affects everyone financially. However, I think on a lighter note, the positive aspect of working on a videogame is that whether you’re a developer, concept artist, writer, etc, you are helping to bring someone’s bizarre vision to life. Everyone on the team is coming together to be apart of something huge that could become bigger than any of them had imagined.

having very little digital art experience, photography experience, and overall tech experience in general, I tried my best to make a mash up of my experience. Of course, since traditional art is my strongest area at the moment, I thought it would be best to include my drawing/painting in the photo that I’ve made specifically for this blog. I’ve put the gears turning in my brain, along with expectations being thrown at me in rather aggressive fonts. This is representative of being forced out of my comfort zone when it comes to design, and being forced to take a step out of my fine arts background/mindset for a lot of these assignments. This is not a complaint, of course. I knew before the quarter started that I would be pushed out of my comfort zone. I feel that it will be good for me in some ways. I wrote in aggressive fonts because it feels like a lot of information is being thrown at me all at once. Of course I knew it would be that way, since a few professors warned us students about that on the first day. However, for me, all of the information can be rather difficult to process, especially when it’s something that puts me outside of my comfort zone like the coding class (ESPECIALLY the coding class lol). I’m aware that the background of the photograph is very crowded, but I figured that it fits the mood of the photo. As I’m completing this blog, my brain feels very crowded. Crowded with things from my personal life along with all of the information I’ve been learning in the program. I also made sure to add some assignments I’ve been working on to this photograph, which adds to the crowded feel of the photo.