Who am I? Simply put, I am nuanced, just like everyone else. Far from perfect but trying hard as I might to strive to be the best version of myself I can be. I am but a person. A person with passions, hardships, baggage, ambitions, and goals. A person who loves freely and intensely. A person who wants to make the most out of every moment in their life.
What is it that I want to do? Make a difference. Specifically in autism activism. I didn’t realize I was autistic until I was 16 years old, and it took another 3 years for me to get a professional diagnosis. Had I been born a male, it likely would’ve been spotted instantly. I want to help educate and inform not only parents but also young girls/people assigned female at birth in identifying if they’re autistic. To spare them the same heartache I have felt of wondering, “What is wrong with me? I should be just like everyone else but I’m not, why am I not?”
Why? Because I know the ache I went through, I know it is an ache many others like me go through, and I don’t want that to be the case. I don’t want people assigned female at birth to go their whole lives feeling like there is something wrong with them in the same way I have felt. I don’t want there to be a feeling of isolation followed by extreme confusion as to why they don’t fit in. Years spent wondering, aching, and questioning if they are the problem. I want to spare them that pain and teach them to embrace themselves.
Where do I want to go? At this point in my life, I can’t be sure. I’m only 20 and I have a whole life ahead of me. While I am not entirely sure where I want to go or end up, I do know that I want to live without regret. I want the intentions behind my actions to be ones I stand behind wholeheartedly. I want to be able to sit back and appreciate everything I have done and gone through, even if it has been hard, and recognize how hard I have worked. I want to be proud of myself.
What would I want to say? One word — breathe. Breathe in every moment, every emotion, every second spent living. Enjoy it. Embrace it. It isn’t going to always be easy but that’s okay. Hardship hurts but those wounds heal. Take time to love deeply and without restraint. Romanticize everything. Laugh and cry and smile and dance. Revell in the phenomenon that is being human. Keep those you love close to your heart and don’t be afraid to indulge. Don’t live life in the shadows, turn your face up to the sun and soak it all in.
