winter 2024
Here are the 2024 Super Bowl commercials I watched:
T Mobile does Flashdance in a total non-sequitur of celebrity nostalgia
Budweiser once again leverages its giant horses to make this billion-dollar swill company seem homey and authentic
Paramount hires 7th grade stoners to write a commercial with as many pop culture references as possible
Dunkin’ Donuts hires a bunch of aging celebrities in a desperate attempt to stay relevant
Newcomer Temu makes probably the cheapest commercial of the bunch, which is appropriate considering the ridiculous plastic shit they hawk for pennies.
T-Mobile does Flashdance
What they did well:
They followed a trend: using as many celebs as possible in some zany situation. They made something both expected and novel. This commercial wrung a few genuine chuckles from my cold, cynical lips, though afterwards I did have to bury myself in Nietzsche’s Ecce Homo for an hour just to feel normal again. The pacing was good. I was entertained. I liked seeing Zach Braff and Donald Faison back at it again. Absurdist reference humor seems to be the flavor du jour (or maybe la seul saveur), and T Mobile seems to have endorsed this brand of lazy comedy with both thumbs.
What they could’ve done better:
Well they could’ve made a piece of advertising that didn’t assume its audience was a nation of dumb-fucks who can’t see Aquaman without running off to the nearest strip mall to switch service providers. And what exactly was the message here? What does the cast of Scrubs have to do with Duncan Idaho have to do with a mediocre 80’s dance movie have to do with a second-rate cell carrier? What could they have done better? They could have made some thing interesting. They could have made something beautiful. Instead, they made something that no one would have any problem identifying as an advertisement. They think that we are easily fooled. We are not.
Budweiser, horses, etc.
What they did well:
They cast a black person; albeit in a service position, but still, baby steps. I suppose, judging by the opening shot, that they know who their target audience is (or would like to think of themselves as): small-town American folks living somewhere blighted by the loss of some industry, an industry that’s probably not so dissimilar from the one that Anheuser-Busch operates. You can’t argue with the production quality; these are movie-caliber visuals. And The Band.
What they could’ve done better:
I mean, is anyone still entertained by the Clydesdales? I know it’s tradition. But seriously, who gives a shit? Get a new thing. Year after year they try to tell a new story with these animals and it’s never really new. This was the most narrative-oriented commercial I watched, but there wasn’t a whole lot of tension-and-release action here. There were stages of the story that were meant to add tension, which is admirable. But everything moved so fast that it was all just an emotional blur. Maybe this is expecting too much of a Super Bowl commercial. Maybe we should expect more.