BACKGROUND:
I got into photography during COVID 19; Making it very hard for me to branch out and get help from models or other photographers, or even want to. Because of that I relied very heavily on myself for being my own model, stylist, and photographer. At first I thought it was so difficult because I didn’t know what I was doing – learning what I know now however, in general, it’s extremely difficult for anyone to execute high end self portraits. So it was very intimidating for me when I had the idea of trying a self portrait shoot for the first time in the school studio. Previously I had always done my own shoots privately and had the luxury of not having to deal with anyone being around, however in a public space – especially that of which with other creatives – was more anxiety inducing than I expected it to be. I had no set in stone shots I wanted to replicate and didn’t have any other references besides hairstyle and outfit that I had to go by, so configuring a lighting set up, camera angles, and poses in all took about 5 hours.
ACTIONS:
From start to finish, the only reason I went about doing a self portrait in the first place was because it was the lighting midterm, and all through out that class I felt like I had delivered below subpar work. We had just learned about the different fundamental lighting set ups that are universal in the industry; Split, Rembrandt, Butterfly, loop, etc, and I really wanted to try and execute them. Going back to what I was the most familiar and confident in seemed like the best option considering how much creative freedom we had. From there I looked up concepts I would like to execute; for some reason I was really inspired by the old school woman with bonnet/ curlers in a night gown with cigarette in hand aesthetic and bought props, clothes, and wigs that would fit. In the studio, I set up a vibrant seameless to match my outfit (converted it to black and white in post), struggled with my camera set up since I couldn’t tether, and wasn’t comfortable using the saloon stands just yet, so ended up going with propping it up on a stool and connecting it to my phone through Bluetooth so I could use it as a mini tether essentially. I had a lot of frustrating moments, within the shoot, I felt very discouraged and confused on what to do; the reality of shooting aimlessly was pretty prevalent considering how confused I was on how to use the different lighting set ups I had used. I also felt extremely embarrassed in all honesty; being in a night gown, high heels, and a wig in the studio where other creatives are working seemed really intimidating at the time, especially since this was still at the point where we were all learning and getting to know each other.
RESULTS:
In the end though, when it came time to showcase to the class and get feedback, and critiques from Matt. I was pleasantly surprised when everyone in class expressed their admiration of the shots. The composition, catch light, and overall story of the shot came up frequently in the positive feedback I received. It was the first time I genuinely felt like I belonged in the program and deserved to be here based off of the work that I turned in. What I submitted as my project did fall short on a few requirements though; They weren’t shot in portrait, and I failed at submitting the RAW files. But the overall consensus was that they were good photos – and getting those comments and feedback from other photographers, as well as the mentor you’re learning from was a huge moment for me within this program.