Month: October 2022

Saying yes to this program was huge step for me. For about five years I’d gone back and forth about whether it would be worth the time, money, and effort based on what I’d heard and my past educational experiences. From what I’d heard there was no doubt this program was a solid choice, but more than anything I was filled with fear. I was fearful about spending another large sum of money on an educational program that could potentially lead to another career I didn’t enjoy fully or meet my current needs. And more so than anything, fearful about completely failing and unable to keep up with the course load intensity.

What made me finally commit to the unknown was my experience through covid: spending a lot of time alone, reflecting on why I was unhappy; aside from the obvious lack of social stimulation and many areas of my life drastically changing. I continued working in the service industry and realized how unsustainable it was for me, both mentally and physically. I was exhausted by freelancing and opportunities felt bleak with the unknowns of social distancing; and in general just being in complete survival mode day after day. All of these factors brought to light that I no longer wanted to be stuck in a what-if mentality and I began to notice that I always made excuses for not actually following my passion. Even though I still experience the fear of the unknown, I keep in mind that I’m learning and will continue to learn even if my expectations aren’t entirely met and I will still learn something from failure even if it doesn’t feel good in the moment. I’ve found that taking risks and experiencing the unknown is uncomfortable in many ways, but also necessary for myself in order to find the little glimpses of happiness along the way that make life worth living. It’s so much more satisfying than making excuses and continuing to live in a reality where dreams feel unattainable, and my day to day life feels like a constant struggle.

When I first started this program my intention was to work on the smaller scale of design, what I had in mind was working one-on-one with clients on various types of projects whether that be branding or print media. Over the past ten years I’ve been working on and off in the photography industry, either working for smaller studios that were contracted by larger companies or working on my own with individuals shooting various projects. My intention with design was to do something similar, working on a smaller scale either with individual clients or for a small design firm. I’ve worked for larger companies and didn’t have the best experience; the larger the company, the more dysfunction seemed to take place with various managers and management styles. Maybe it’s just a matter of trial and error to find the right fit or group? I generally like the idea of projects being more personal and getting to know people on an individual basis rather than being a small part moving in a large machine.

When I think about the impact of the work, I like to think that I can see the impact in real time by working closely in a more intimate environment versus working on a vast corporate scale. I’m someone that thrives when getting to know the people I work with and find a lot of comfort in knowing more about people I spend the majority of my day with. But as Joe mentioned, there is less financial security on the smaller scale of design work and the impact of your work must always carry large results in order to have continuous flow of financial security. In other words, the pressure is always on.  

After Joe’s presentation my perspective did shift. I’ve spent the majority of my adult life struggling to survive in a world that is becoming exponentially more expensive and complicated. I want to be financially secure and not in a constant state of wondering where my next paycheck is coming from or how I’m going to afford maintaining a sustainable lifestyle. With that in mind, I’m certainly not opposed to working on a larger scale if that equates to financial security and overall less stress in surviving. I do need to work on shifting my perspective and maintain hope that personal connection can still exist within the larger corporate sphere, specifically in ways that are meaningful to my own identity as an artist and designer.

This visual Mashup represents finding my flow as I begin this journey in the design program. The mediums used are photography (Polaroid image at the top right), a paper collage of the wavy pattern, and digitally painted color between the pattern. My experience in the program so far has been a massive life transition, both in and outside of the classroom. I haven’t been in school for many years and adjusting to the pace has been a radical experience; I’ve had many moments of being completely overwhelmed by emotion or even brought to tears.

The Polaroid image represents my dreams and keeping those in mind when I’m feeling the pressure or when I’m overwhelmed. It’s a representation of looking towards the future and being one step further towards my dreams as I move through this program. Whenever I look at the moon it brings me calmness and peace, I positioned it at the top right to mimic that. The pattern represents intensity and waves of emotion. I chose the color orange to fill the pattern because it represents emotions of optimism, adventure and creativity; all of which I’m currently feeling. I can already tell my main challenge will be working on time management, while simultaneously practicing self care in order to successfully move through this program in one piece.