Saying yes to this program was huge step for me. For about five years I’d gone back and forth about whether it would be worth the time, money, and effort based on what I’d heard and my past educational experiences. From what I’d heard there was no doubt this program was a solid choice, but more than anything I was filled with fear. I was fearful about spending another large sum of money on an educational program that could potentially lead to another career I didn’t enjoy fully or meet my current needs. And more so than anything, fearful about completely failing and unable to keep up with the course load intensity.
What made me finally commit to the unknown was my experience through covid: spending a lot of time alone, reflecting on why I was unhappy; aside from the obvious lack of social stimulation and many areas of my life drastically changing. I continued working in the service industry and realized how unsustainable it was for me, both mentally and physically. I was exhausted by freelancing and opportunities felt bleak with the unknowns of social distancing; and in general just being in complete survival mode day after day. All of these factors brought to light that I no longer wanted to be stuck in a what-if mentality and I began to notice that I always made excuses for not actually following my passion. Even though I still experience the fear of the unknown, I keep in mind that I’m learning and will continue to learn even if my expectations aren’t entirely met and I will still learn something from failure even if it doesn’t feel good in the moment. I’ve found that taking risks and experiencing the unknown is uncomfortable in many ways, but also necessary for myself in order to find the little glimpses of happiness along the way that make life worth living. It’s so much more satisfying than making excuses and continuing to live in a reality where dreams feel unattainable, and my day to day life feels like a constant struggle.