Please Don’t Read this it’s basically a feelings dump
I’ll talk about this with the understanding that a “disruptor” is someone with a unique perspective, and can use said perspective to influence an environment, and the people in it, with it.
So, what makes me unique?
It’s hard to say. I feel like there are a lot of people like me; Asian-American, queer, a female at birth, neurodivergent. I grew up poor, with an Asian tigermom with helicopter parenting tendencies. My parents divorced when I was 10, and to this day I have unresolved feelings regarding a new family he started. I don’t really think these make me unique; people experience such things to varying degrees, which in turn changes them as people.
I’m an illustrator, a visual storyteller at heart. In a perfect world, I would be illustrating books, preferably children’s books. I adore the illustrations in the Pixie Hollow books, Winnie the Pooh, Frog and Toad. I find a thrill and satisfaction in turning my feelings into art; I can spend hours with my eyes closed imagining how I could turn a feeling into visual expression. I spend hours looking at @onehillion ‘s art and drown in the awe her creations brings me. I love the human in art. I love the human in visual storytelling.
So, I suppose that’s where my uniqueness lies. It could also be where my weakness is. My personal feelings are strong, and it is difficult for me to stray from an idea despite another being more in favor for the circumstance, provided I am attached to it. It’s hard for me to separate my feelings from my work. I’m not sure what to chalk that up to; maybe it’s my lack of experience. Maybe if the situation was serious enough, say, I’m working for a client, rather than for a class, I would proceed differently. Or maybe, it’s not an issue at all, and I just have a “style” I want to work in… Jason talks about that a lot. I’m really not sure.
We are 10 weeks in and I’m still wondering if this is the right path for me. When I first applied for this program, I was rejected; they actually recommended I apply for the illustration program instead.
Really, it comes down to “in a perfect world”… in a perfect world, I would be an illustrator. “In a perfect world”, I would have the funds to illustrate for a living. “In a perfect world”, I would have direction, “in a perfect world”, I would have faith in myself… “in a perfect world”…